So...it's been forever since I posted anything...figured I'd peek out from under the rug and see what's going on...

It's been an eventful past month in a half.

Reconsiled with some friends and lost some old friends.
Made some new friends and pissed off some old ones.
I stood up for my occupational integrity and ended up unemployed for it.

Been mega stressful, but also very enlightening.  I think some of it is me unlocking those mysterious mental tumblers that're supposed to go *click* when you embark further into your 30's.  It'd be nice if it weren't such a pain in the fucking ass though.  Fire...tempering...yadda yadda yadda.

Also, I haven't been posting much because I'm on facebook all the time.  It's kinda consolidated all of my internet communication and almost all of the sites and feeds I get all in one place.  That's pretty devastating.  But...if you need to reach me it's:  http://www.facebook.com/bizarrothebear

However, I am still alive, to the bane of quite a few folks I've met on the road I might add, but I'm here.  Still trying to flip a bird at the heavens.

Now, if I can somehow wrap up the existential malise with the economic malise, and find a way to sell it...I could be Obama.

 

WANDA SYKES' OFFENSIVE ROUTINE.

Wanda Sykes' comedy routine at the White House Correspondent's Dinner was really offensive. In it, Sykes suggested that conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh  is supported by Hamas, and that Islamists are "constantly issuing Limbaugh talking points." She joked about terrorists supporting conservatives in general, suggesting that recent violent events in Iraq are attempts by terrorists to swing the upcoming midterm elections in favor of Republicans.

Then she got really personal. She joked that Limbaugh was a racist who doesn't want black people to "escap[e] the underclass." She accused him of being responsible for killing "a million babies a year," and aired her friend's theory that Limbaugh himself was a terrorist attack," a followup to 9/11. She also, most disgustingly, said that if conservatives kept apologizing to Limbaugh, they'd eventually contract "anal poisoning." She wondered when Republicans would finally stop "bending over and grabbing their ankles" for Limbaugh, and finally concluded that Limbaugh was just a "bad guy."

Oh wait. Wanda Sykes didn't say any of these things. These are things Rush Limbaugh has said about Obama or other Democrats in the past year, the kind of statements few reporters found offensive enough to write about, despite the fact that most of them were said with the utmost seriousness. And while Sykes is a mere comedian whose influence on the Democratic Party is negligible, Limbaugh's influence in the party is so great that Republican leaders can't even criticize him without having to issue apologies after the fact. 

-- A. Serwer

THE GOSPEL OF STE. PREJEAN, CHAPTERS 1-2

By GDAB Chief Biblical Scholar St. Elvis of Dingeldein.

Prejean 1 (New International Version)

And The God™ Saw It Was Good … But Not Quiiiiiite Good Enough

¹ In the beginning God™ created the heavens and the earth, and a skinny little tart he called Carrie Prejean.

² And He saw that His creation was good, but not quite good enough, for yea though Blessed be the Small of Chest, they winneth not the Beauty Pageants.

³ And God™ said, “Let her meager bosom be filled with waters drawn from the Dead Sea, which is salty, as I rather inconveniently made silicone cancerous, oops! Didn’t see that one coming!”

⁴ And yea, The Lord™ created Keith Lewis, Co-Director of the Miss California Pageant, and did giveth him The Funding, that Carrie might fill her bosom, and be Buxom in the Eyes of The Lord™.

⁵ And God™ saw all He had made, and it was good. Oh, it was very good.

⁶ And what God™ dideth next, no one shall speaketh its name. But it was good.

Prejean 2

The First Temptation of Ste. Prejean

¹ Thus the heavens and the earth were completed, and Carrie’s breasts augmented in all their vast array.

² And the Lord God™ rested, because creating entire universes is Hard Work even for a Supreme Being. Plus, Notre Dame was playing Michigan, and Oh! Lo! how The God™ doth loathe the Wolverines!

³ Now TheDirty.com was more crafty than any of the wild sites The Lord God™ had made. And it said to Carrie, “Did God really say, ‘You must not pose in your tight pink underpanties?’”

⁴ Carrie said unto TheDirty.com, “I may pose in any clothing picked from the gardens of L.A., but God did say, ‘You must not pose topethless and in the pink underpants, or you will die. Or at least be strippethed of thy crown.’”

⁵ “You will not surely die,” TheDirty.com said unto Carrie. “For God knows that when you poseth your eyes will be opened, as will the eyes of many, many 12 year-old boys, who shall wacketh in thy name, and you will be like God, only with a spectacular ass.”

⁶ And so because He resteth on the Seventh Day, Lo did The Lord God™ misseth the semi-nude photos, for being Naughty in His sight Carrie did bareth her spectacular ass and lieth about it to Miss USA.

⁷ And being guilty of Pride in her spectacular pink underpants, Carrie gnashed her teeth and beseeched the heavens, saying, “Father, Father, why hast thou forsaken me? What, you couldn’t have turned those photos to dust? Work with me, Pop!”

⁸ Then The Lord God™ said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “TheDirty.com deceived me, and posted my bottom on The Internets!”

⁹ So The Lord God™ said to Carrie, “I will greatly increase your pain in waxing your netherbits, and in injecting Botulism into your face, and you may find various beasts of the Sea swimming in your saline bags, I work in Mysterious Ways.”

¹⁰ And Carrie Prejean knew she must somehow restore her Lord God™’s faith in her, while Lo! pandering to Republican men with leftover Sarah Palin boners.

Hmmmmmm...who'd have thunk there could be a day when I would look at Boy George and be like "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn...you're looking good..."

I wonder if it was the jail time...lol

Gavin Newsom will be Governor of California.  (Barring Feinstein fucking it up.)

If he can speak to the nation as he does in this interview...I think he could be President.

Think he's just being mean?  Check this out:  http://mises.org/story/2066